Wa-Cha! Hiyah!
Ha! Ya!
Male announcer: And now
DREAMWORKS' kung fu panda: Legends of awesomeness.
[Grunts]
[Gong rings]
♪ Hear the legends of the kung fu panda ♪
[Scatting]
♪ Raised in a noodle shop ♪
♪ Never seeking glory or fame ♪
♪ He climbed the mountaintop ♪
♪ And earned the dragon warrior name ♪
Ooh! Ahh! Yah!
♪ Kung fu panda ♪
[Scatting]
♪ Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom ♪
♪ And master the skills of bodacious and awesome ♪
♪ Kung fu panda ♪
[Scatting]
♪ He lives and he trains and he fights ♪
♪ With the furious five ♪
♪ Protect the valley, something, something ♪
♪ Something, something alive ♪
Ooh! Ahh! Ugh!
♪ Kung fu panda ♪
♪ Legends of awesomeness ♪
Sweet!
[Pan flute]
♪ ♪
Hark now to my mouth words as they tell a tale
of the most amazing kung fu masters in all the land!
Masters tigress, monkey, crane, viper, and mantis!
The mind-blowing furious five!
One day the land was be-sodden by an evil and STANKY demon.
[Thunderclap]
[Roars]
Tigress pummeled him. Mantis acusmacked him!
Viper did that thing where she makes you hit yourself.
Crane summoned a mighty wind,
and monkey's cunning brought the beast down!
The furious five totally rule!
[Imitating lead guitar]
All: Bor-ing!
I know! They... wait. What?
We don't want to hear furious five stories, po.
But they're the reason I became a kung fu master
in the first place.
[Whispering] They also happen to be sitting at table six.
Uh, no offense, guys.
None taken.
Yeah. Not humiliating in the least.
Guys!
Oh, who cares about them? We wanna hear stories about you!
So this one time I fought this overly aggressive hedgehog!
I know po's the dragon warrior,
but it'd be nice to get a little more respect around here.
Where is the dragon warrior?
I challenge him to appear so that he may face me,
the one who has challenged him!
To appear!
All: Hiyah!
Um, there must be some mistake.
I specifically requested the dragon warrior.
You're dealing with us, Hundun.
[Sighs]
Yeah, this isn't going to work for me.
I refuse to wreak further carnage
until the dragon warrior appears!
My time is valuable! [All grunt]
Tick tock with the ticking and the tocking.
Well, this is a new low.
Guys?
Finally! And at last!
Hundun!
Wahhh!
Ahh!
Okay, Hundun. Time to rain the pain.
[all cheering]
[Loud thud]
[Screams]
Whoa! What the heck was that?
Exploding fire gems!
They were a gift from a friend
who is also an acquaintance as well as a chum.
Huh!
[Gasps]
[Grunts]
[Grunting]
Ooh!
[all screaming]
Protect the villagers!
[Laughing]
[Shooting blanks]
What?
Ugh!
[Grunts]
- Hi-yah! - [Grunting]
[Groans]
Oopsy!
Ahh!
Oh, really?
[Groans] What'd I miss?
The dragon warrior beat Hundun!
[Villagers cheering]
Un-believable.
Hooray, po!
[Groaning]
This is isn't over. Or finished!
I swear vengeance. I swear...
Could you all step aside?
I'm trying to swear vengeance on the dragon warrior.
You guys were awesome.
Couldn't have done it without you.
You didn't do anything. We saved the village!
And you get all the credit!
That's not true!
[Villagers chanting "Po!"]
Could you guys lift him up triumphantly?
Beat it! We're not the Po-ettes!
Guys, this is crazy!
You're still the revered furious five.
If you don't believe me, ask Shifu.
- Master Shifu! - Not now, please.
I'm busy getting this new exhibit ready.
- [Gasps] - Oh!
It commemorates Po's many accomplishments
since becoming dragon warrior.
What do you think?
Heh. I don't... i don't like it.
It's, uh... The color scheme is all wrong
and it's really un-feng shui-y!
So let's just, uh...
Po, what are you doing?
[Both struggling]
Po, stop.
[Grunts]
I finally understand. This isn't your fault.
[Sighs] Thank goodness you...
- It's yours! - Huh?
What are you talking about? She's right.
It makes perfect sense!
Yeah. You never commemorate our accomplishments.
And you keep rewarding Po
no matter how many times he messes up.
No wonder the villagers think We're a joke!
Guys, please. This is on me.
I'm a huge ham. You know this.
I admit it. I just... bleh!
You dare question the way I've been running the jade palace?
Yes! We have sweat and bled for you!
Yeah!
But since Po showed up,
you treat us like second-class warriors!
Stop acting like jealous children
just because Po's talent is more exceptional than yours!
- [Gasps] - Ohh!
- [Gasps] - Ohh.
Huh?
[Laughing] Relax, guys!
He didn't... he didn't really mean that.
Right, master? It was just a...
I meant every word.
Um, how can I put this nicely? Jerk!
Enough! This display is outrageous.
Head to the training hall and... no!
We're done taking orders from you.
We... We quit!
You what?
This is unheard of!
You'll be blacklisted from every kung fu temple in China.
Then we'll start our own temple!
Master! You Can't let this happen.
You've got to go after them.
And reward their ingratitude? Never.
You will pay for this indignity
by repaying the debt for which payment is due.
Quiet, you!
You ain't so tough without your fancy horn.
I Would advise you to release him!
Ah, my new friend, as well as my chum,
my acquaintance, my... they get the idea.
But for brevity's sake you can call me master JUNJIE.
Get him!
[Evil laugh]
At last I am free to pursue the vengeance
which my lack of freedom had prevented me from pursuing!
And I've found the path to that vengeance,
my chatty friend.
Strife and division within the jade palace itself!
[Both laughing evilly]
Why is that funny?
[Sniffing]
- Where you going, Po? - Hi, guys.
Headed over to check out
the furious five's new kung fu temple.
All: Bo-ring!
That's not true! I'm sure it's awesome.
And without me hogging the spotlight,
I bet they're having the time of their lives.
- Oh, this is so dumb! - You're dumb!
[all arguing]
[Screams]
Uh... Guys?
[Arguing stops]
Ooh!
Is everything okay?
Of course.
We were just discussing as equals,
with no bossy master calling all the shots,
what the name of our new temple should be.
We're going with "the temple of monkey."
[Blowing raspberry]
We didn't agree on that.
[all arguing]
Guys, guys! This is silly.
[Sighs]
Just come back to the jade palace.
Why, when we've got our own awesome temple right here?
Excuse me, everyone. Rent's due Thursday.
Actually, We're a little short.
No exceptions! Clean up when You're done.
Ugh! Fine! Business is lousy.
Please, please, come back! You belong at the jade palace.
Ha! Not gonna happen.
Shifu does not appreciate us and neither does this village.
But that is all gonna change.
Help, help! Emergency!
Ooh!
[Battle cries]
State your emergency, citizen.
It's my cousin Jiao!
He's coming in from out of town with his entire family.
I need catering for 30!
This looks like a job for... Mr. ping!
[Guttural grunting]
Clear your stuff out. I've got a catering crisis!
[Sighs]
Uh, master Shifu, can we talk?
Oh, Po. Good.
You can help me clear out some of this old junk.
Junk? But this stuff belonged to the guys.
You Can't just dump it.
I can and I will.
[Grunting]
[Exhales]
But, master, no one really wants this.
Maybe if you just...
Just what?
Apol... Apol...
Apologize? Never!
[Yelps] Oh!
I wouldn't take those ingrates back
if my life depended on it!
But what if my life depended on it?
The five are confused and disorganized.
If we create havoc here, here, and here,
we can divide them and pick them off one by one.
Bah! Why bother with the five? And sand?
They are nothing, less than nothing
and whatever is less than that.
Fool!
How many times have the five swooped in
to save the accursed panda?
With them gone, we can finally get rid of him!
[Laughing]
I'm sorry, I still don't see what's funny.
Look. Here they come.
Wait! It's Shifu as well. And also.
- Hello, mas... mister. - Oh, hello.
Po told me to meet him here at noon.
He told us the same thing.
New plan.
Using stealth and cunning
we can slip up behind them with these...
help! Runaway fireworks cart!
Help!
Oh, no! My foot is stuck!
Only the furious five can save me now!
[Whispering] Great job. Totally realistic.
Just keep pushing.
All righty. New new plan.
This is getting complicated.
Guys! Master Shifu! Quick!
Put aside your differences and work together to save me!
Are we really supposed to buy that?
He obviously set it up. Just ignore him.
You Can't tell us what to do anymore.
Let's go help him.
Look, everyone!
The amazing furious five are saving me! Ahh!
This fake rescue thing is really insulting, Po.
We don't need your charity.
Charity?
Why, whatever are you talking about, Valiant warriors?
[all giggling]
[Groans] Fine.
I was only trying to... [All screaming]
Fruit stand!
Wig cart!
- Pillow shop! - Oh, look out! Look out!
Oh! Ow!
Oh!
[Nervous laugh]
[all screaming]
Check out the furious five! What a bunch of clowns!
[Villagers laughing]
The dragon warrior saved them!
[all cheering]
Master! I... that is, we...
You see?
If you had listened to me,
you wouldn't have embarrassed yourselves.
Embarrassed our...?
Oh, you are just loving this, aren't you?
- I... - [Gasps]
- How could you? - How dare you?
- Back off! - I Can't believe this!
Guys, please!
We can find a way to patch things up.
Forget it, Po.
We're done with Shifu and this village.
Master!
[Sighs]
I think we need a new, new, new, new plan now.
[Laughing]
We don't need to do a thing.
Shifu and the dragon warrior have done our work for us.
[Laughing]
I just... i don't get it. I...
How could you just let them leave town?
- Who needs them? - We do!
The best part of living at the jade palace
was that we were a family.
All that's ruined now.
Oh! I love it when things turn out the way you plan.
JUNJIE! Wa-tah!
- [Grunts] - [Screams]
Po!
[Po groaning]
Too bad.
Looks like your master won't be here
to see our final triumph...
And your final demise!
Hear ye, hear ye!
You are all cordially invited
to witness the end of the dragon warrior,
to be followed by the destruction
of your entire village!
[all gasp]
Then dancing and light refreshments.
You Can't destroy the whole village.
[Laughing]
That's where You're wrong.
Hundun and I have placed barrels of fire gems
throughout the village
to be detonated by these fuses!
And now for my rampage... Of rampaging!
[Yells] [Villagers screaming]
Great. No one will hire us to do anything.
What are we gonna do?
Well, what do you suggest? Go crawling back to Shifu?
[Groans]
Or we could do it the other way around.
What happened to you?
JUNJIE happened. And Hundun.
They took advantage of your absence.
Whelp, good thing you got the mighty dragon warrior.
See ya!
Wait!
Po's been captured. He needs you.
The village needs you!
I need you.
You were right. I have favored Po.
But it was only because he needed more help
than the rest of you.
Much more help.
So what are you trying to say?
[Coughs] That I...
Apol... Apo-ha...
Apol...
Apolo...
Apol...
Apol... Apol...
Apol...
- [Laughing]
[Stammering]
Spit it out!
I apologize!
[Grunts]
Uh, wait! I... Oh, stop stalling.
The five won't swoop in to save you this time.
You and Shifu have made sure of that.
[Both laughing]
Okay. See, now I get it.
Ready...
[Neck cracking]
[Knuckles cracking]
[Snorts]
Aim...
Attack!
Uh, don't you mean "fire"?
- No! - [Grunts]
You were supposed to be gone!
Ha!
Forget about me!
Stop the fuses!
Fire gem bombs! Village go boom!
Move!
Hwah!
Yahhh hoy!
[Slurps]
[Gasps]
Hiyah!
Huh?
[Fireworks whistling]
All: Ohh! [Laughter]
No!
Destroy him!
[Groans]
[Grunting]
Hiyah!
It's over, you two.
Is it?
Ow!
Blast them!
Shifu!
Looks like somebody swallowed their pride.
Looks like somebody swallowed a horse!
Sorry, that was uncalled for.
[Sizzling] - [Struggling]
He's gonna blow!
[Gasps]
[Laughing]
Oh. Not funny.
[Groans]
[Groans, laughs]
Did you see that?
The furious five saved the entire village!
[all cheering]
Ugh. Yeah!
Well done, my friends.
Your skill and courage have triumphed once again.
Um, I think I may need medical attention.
I feel kinda woozy.
Thank you, master. And... Forgive us.
We'd be nothing without your love and guidance.
No. It is I who Would be nothing without you.
Yay.